The Path Easily Travelled

‘Happy Birthday!’- the party decors read. Friends, food, alcohol, and laughter filled the room. Somewhere in middle, the doorbell rang. Dressed in a little black dress and curly hair pulled in a messy ponytail, Samantha, the birthday girl rushed to open the door. She was expecting Varun, her new friend, a probable future romantic interest.   

However, the night had different plans for her…

It was not Varun but Ayan at the door. Their eyes met and repulsion made her almost scream. She somehow pulled herself together but she started fuming inside.

The universe works in strange ways. When she longed for nothing but a text, one call, or sight of Ayan, she got nothing. And now, when she is aware of the truth, when the aggrieved woman never wanted to hear from him again, he was standing right in front of her.

Varun appeared from behind a shocked Ayan to pull her into a hug. ‘Happy Birth Day! You look stunning!’ He uttered. She couldn’t react much. She was unable to guess why Ayan was here. ‘Oh yeah! There was a day-long power cut in our apartment and I felt bad about coming to the party alone leaving him in darkness. I hope you don’t mind.’

‘Come on in.’ She half-smiled.

Three months earlier, during one breezy evening in Delhi, she met Ayan for the first time. They were a tinder match who hit it off during the first chat only. Since then, the busy professionals, who would otherwise miss texts, were always texting each other. It was one such smooth connection that she never really felt she needed to know more about him than what was being told. Maybe even before stepping out for the date that night, she was determined to like him.

Ayan was waiting in his car that night hoping for her to arrive sooner. She took her time. But when she arrived in a green peplum top and casual jeans, she did not disappoint with her curly hair pulled in a messy ponytail. She was not a usual Delhite, hiding behind fashion and make-up. She believed in being natural. And Ayan in his natural built and casually thrown over white shirt echoed the same.

It was a date. However, the moment she got into the car, she declared, ‘My broker just called. A great house has opened up. I need to see it right away.’ She was house hunting. He knew that already. So, what did that mean? Was the date already over?

‘Okay. I can accompany you there if you like.’ Ayan told her. There was no way he was letting the girl go away. He had already fallen for that curly hair. A few minutes later he watched as she paraded down the house, checking it out and negotiating with the brokers. From her conversation with the brokers, he could tell she was one badass woman for a 25-year-old. He made the observation later when in private. ‘It was fun watching you dominating that army of brokers. You are one amazing woman, aren’t you?’ He chuckled.

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The birthday party suddenly felt suffocating to her. Ayan’s presence was throwing her off. She quickly got everybody to the table to get over with the cake-cutting scenes. However, she had a long itinerary planned. The party wasn’t getting over anytime soon.

In some time, Ayan found her in a corner at the party. With hesitation clear on his face, he approached her. ‘Hi! How have you been?’

‘I’m doing good. How’s your wife?’ She gave him a sharp look. His jaw dropped. When he approached her at the party, he was only expecting to be a jerk who never called back after a date. But there he felt bare, naked amidst all her friends who were strangers to him.

After the house hunting was over, while driving towards a food place, he brought up a topic they have recently discussed. ‘So did you pick up your first guitar?’ She swayed her head in a no. ‘I was expecting an expert guitarist will help me pick that up someday.’ She winked at him. He chuckled. ‘We have some time left. The expert guitarist can be at your service today, madam.’ He winked back.

It was difficult for him to say anything in reply to this lady in black. He couldn’t think of anything appropriate. After a brief pause, she continued, ‘What is it? What’s the story? She’s no good? She’s having an affair? Forced into this marriage?’ Bitterness was prominent in her tone.

‘None.’ He replied after standing still for a while. ‘Though I wish one of these was true.’

‘Is she sick? Dying?’

‘No.’ He swayed his head. ‘And I don’t want that to be true.’

‘So why do you cheat? Why are you on tinder?’ Even though her pitch was under control, her tone was getting angrier.

‘Because I don’t feel married.’ He grabbed a beer and sat by her.

In the guitar shop she stared at him as he played guitars one by one. He was telling her all of the technicalities, rating each one high in one category, low in another. They were spoilt for choices. So, she chose one which made him smile the most. As she walked out of the shop with her new guitar hanging down her shoulders, he exclaimed, ‘This is the sexiest you have been all evening. A female guitarist is my goddess!!’ He grinned.

‘You don’t feel married?’ She twitched her face as she emphasized the word feel. ‘That’s the lamest thing I have ever heard.’

‘But that’s the truth. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with my gorgeous wife, but I don’t feel like I have anything to do with her. I regret that. It’s horrible that every night when she calls, I find a new excuse to cut the call sooner because talking to her feels like a chore. Talking to my trash pickup guy excites me more than her.’

‘Barely a year into the marriage and you are already bored of her. Staying in a different city and cheating on her- classic men! Ever wondered how she will feel once she finds out?’

‘I wonder how she hasn’t figured it out yet!’

‘Why don’t help her out?’ She yelled before she lowered down, trying to not alarm others in the party. ‘This is as sick as it could be! If you are so unhappy with the marriage, why don’t you ask for a divorce?’

‘What’s the incentive in that? I spend the next 5-6 years doing in and out of court and end up paying hefty alimony in the name of mental trauma that I put her through.’

‘Oh!’ She laughed with mockery. ‘So instead, you take to lying and cheating?’

‘It’s way easier!’

 Samantha was not the impulsive, hot-headed type. She would rather quietly walk away and never look back than one who would stay and create a scene. Did she feel like slapping Ayan at this point? Yes. Did she go for it? No. Were her eyes glaring red in anger, almost ready to burst out? Yes. But somehow, she held herself together.

‘And I guess it is the easiest to find out innocent young victims whom you can lead to your bed and never look back the next day?’

‘You’re making me sound like a sexual predator. Whatever happened that night, happened with your consent. I paused and asked for your consent before every single step.’

‘Yeah, except for that one tiny time when you forgot to say, ‘Hey I am married. Are you okay with that?’ She yelled. To his rescue, the music was too loud and everyone around was too drunk to care.

‘I am sorry.’ The apology felt like nothing but a joke. ‘I never thought you’ll find out. I kept all my social media profiles deactivated for 3 months since our date so that you never find out.’

‘So that’s your excuse? You didn’t think I shall find out?’

‘Excuse?’

‘You make me a homewrecker and all you are apologetic for is that I found out?’

‘A homewrecker? You didn’t know anything. And there’s hardly any home to wreck here!’

She swayed her head in disbelief. ‘I found out because I was still looking for answers even after 3 months. I found out because a magical night like that leaves you with questions if not followed up. What could have possibly gone wrong? Was I not good enough? The questions start biting you.’ She stood up. ‘You know what, get the hell out of here. I cannot stand your face anymore!’

He obliged, got up but then sat again. This time he grabbed the beer bottle tighter. ‘I was always a commitment-phobic. Every time it got serious with someone; I ran away. And I got labeled- Casanova, playboy, and what not! And as time passed by, everyone around me started getting married. I started having some FOMO. And one day when my mother asked me to see this girl, I went there and I was like, ‘Whoa! She’s stunning!’ And I said yes to the marriage. During our courtship, I didn’t try to talk or mingle at all because I felt like I’ll run away again. So, I punished myself into this marriage because I thought once legally and socially bound, I won’t have this choice of running away. Boom! A couple of days into the honeymoon and I realized I feel nothing, absolutely nothing for her. It was suffocating to realize I had pushed myself into this darkness and now I would have to live with it all my life. So, when the next opportunity opened away from home, I took the first flight and came here.’

She raised her hands indicating him to stop. ‘Your sob story is not getting any sympathy from me. Tell your wife the truth so that she realizes the one she is trying to win over is not worth it.’

‘And then what? Let the Government have the say about the rest of my life? Let the friends and family label me an adulterer?’

‘That would be only for a few years. After that, no one would care or remember.’

‘Those few years are the prime years of my life you are talking about! I am now an independent, self-sufficient man. I can do whatever I want to do with my life! But I’ll spend it hiding my face from friends and family.’

‘Isn’t that better than the lies and deceits?’

‘Why are these the only two options?’

‘Because you chose to get married!’ She yelled.

‘No, I did not. I was made to do it. Every single person who walked into any room, found me out, and told me that it was time for me to get married made me do it. This whole society which nurtures you in a way to believe that marriage is the only way forward made me do it.’

‘Are you to get back to all of them with your actions?’ She almost mocked.

In answer he said nothing. For a brief time silence hung in the air. ‘I guess I am trying to find my way back home.’ His voice quivered.

Something shifted in her. Something made her feel sorry for him. Something inside her even made her curious. ‘Who lives in that home?’

He sighed. ‘I guess I am still trying to find that out.’ He looked at her, smiled, and got up to leave. ‘It was nice to see your petite hands again.’ He observed on his way out.

Towards the end of their date night, after house hunting, guitar shopping, and dinner while walking towards his car in the parking, their hands touched for a brief second. He took a look. ‘Your hands are very petite.’ He observed. ‘Can I hold it?’ He chuckled. She extended her hand and he held it for as long as he could. When finally, he let it go to start the car, she lightly ran it down his cheek. It was difficult to remember at this point who initiated the kiss or who suggested that they should spend the night together. But one thing she could remember clearly. Somewhere in between the snuggles and endless laughter that night, she had exclaimed, ‘You’re too good to be true!’

As he left the party that night, Samantha watched him carefully from behind. Varun was there at the party. She could go and tell him everything right away. That would bring in the humiliation Ayan deserved. She could also find out about Ayan’s wife from Varun and tell her all about it. But the other option was to let it go. Samantha sighed deep, shrugged, and then re-joined the party with a smile.

Right out of the party, Ayan’s phone beeped. He checked. The notification read ‘You’ve got a new match on Tinder.’ He opened the notification, checked out the profile of the random new match, and texted, ‘Hey!’